Nobody Knows

Hey, nobody reads this blog anyhow, so I'm going to just forget about what I thought anyone thinks. I did originally make this page so that people could catch up on what's going on with me, but it doesn't really matter. Let's face it: nobody really cares what's going on with me. So I'm going to make this blog a fun thing for ME to read. Yeah.

There aren't too many things I like very much about my body right now. But I, most of the time, like my eyes. I didn't always, but I'm kind of getting narrowed down for likeable areas. They are brown. They are tiger eye (the semi-precious stone) color in the light. In high school, I liked to wear dark colors to bring out their darkness and to contrast my pale skin. I called my eyes "cow brown" or "poop brown," but now I realize that they shouldn't be compared to such yucky things. They see nearly clearly, and the whites stay white most of the time.

If I didn't have eyes, I couldn't see my children smile. That's something I didn't appreciate in high school, but it makes me grateful now. I can see the beautiful colors of spring, a welcome sight after the gloom of winter. I can see music on a page. I can see words in books and in letters. I can see the emerging writing scrawls on paper and pictures my children draw.

Eyes are windows to the soul, they say. One can read a person's intentions by gazing into those eyes. The best eyes to see are those of innocent children. Sometimes it's heartbreaking to see innocence and realize that someday it will change and the children will have to learn hard truths. When one holds onto youth for too long, eventually one's heart breaks and cold reality sets in. But seeing that innocence in young eyes does bring back goodness.

On our trip to Mexico last year, we came upon a truckful of Mexican army men in downtown traffic. As I looked into one of the men's eyes, I saw something I've never seen before. I smiled at him, and his gaze deepened. I realized something: a young man, no older than 20, sat ten feet from me and my family with a rifle in his hands and murder in his eyes. It was a very frightening realization to me. In contrast to this man, I deal daily with five young children who have never had any thoughts of that sort in their minds, and I'm sure that army man began life the same way. To go from one point of the spectrum to the other in only a few short years seems impossible, but there it was.

As usual, I'm rambly, but it all comes down to eyes. They're my favorite thing about myself, and they are the first thing I notice about people because they are so telling. Since this is my first real blog here, I'd like to welcome myself to this blog and thank myself for putting such relevant input onto this page. Also, I'd like to shake my hand and tell myself to sit down and shut up.

The Mexican Cruise

At the beginning of December, we took a cruise to Mexico with Sam's parents. They were so generous and kind! We saw Acapulco, Xijuatinejo, Cabo San Lucas, and Puerto Vallarta. What a fun adventure! It was an eye-opener to our blessings. We are grateful that we have all that we have. We have a lovely home, a country in which we can worship, time to do whatsoever we choose, schools that our children can attend, churches that teach goodness and truth, wonderful children and parents, and technology to enrich our intelligence. These are only a few of the blessings we realized while we were there, without phones and internet, being served constantly by happy people who treated us like kings. We enjoyed the experience so much! And now we're happy to be back, relaxed and enjoying life so much more. Now that we have had a real vacation, we will have to have one every year. I think everyone would benefit from this type of experience!

Shrewsbury Ren Faire

Here are a few pictures of our Ren Faire expedition to King's Valley, Oregon last September. This is a family tradition that we all enjoy doing together, but our first journey to Shrewsbury. Planning out and making the garb for everyone is a time-consuming but exciting chore for me to accomplish, and I am even more joyful when the family is appreciative of their clothing (which they always are!).
This year, we convinced Sam's brother Frank and his family to accompany us to the Faire. Emma is shown in the picture with Cambria and Eliza. Their face-painting experience was positive. The artist was very child-friendly, which came in handy with Eliza. She was as grumpy as could be when we got there (we'd traveled for a lot longer than anticipated), but when the face-painting lady kindly asked her to sit on her chair and choose a design, she sat like a statue and then admired herself in every reflective object for the rest of the day.
We saw the knights doing battle in their arena, we saw singers, actors, and all sorts of off-their-rocker people who just came to fit in (?). We bought toys, jewels, and musical instruments. The children were admired by people young and old, and given gifts by a few vendors who adored them. I was addressed as "m'lady." It was just too fun! This is a tradition which we will continue forever.

Some Jewelry!

The Mystery Gang

The Mystery Gang is all here. It was Si-guy's idea to be Scoob, and I had Freddy's white sweater already, so I thought that I may as well finish the rest of the gang. It took me hours to find, make, and put together the entire set of costumes, but it happened. I even had to dye Velma's sweater orange. I made or altered everything except socks, shoes, and Fred and Shaggy's shirts. And it was satisfying to create an entire group of recognizable characters AND have my kids enjoy wearing their clothes! The best Halloween ever!

I decided to start out by saying that I love my kids. I also want to point out that they are small adults and understand far more than society gives them credit. Roommates, housemates, others residing with me in the same household...they are truly complicated when it comes to their position in the home. When considering that they are more than just tiny, helpless beings who rely on me for sustenance, their livelihood being school and household chores, I have a unique responsibility to continually drive them away from myself. Everything I teach them guides them on their own, making them more independent, to help them to live life on their own. It is my job to be here always, whenever they need advice or a listening ear. I love my job! I also despise the bickering, the screaming, the fighting, and the whining that take place in little spurts throughout the day. The refereeing job and the judge, jury, and executioner jobs really get to me. Some days I want to put myself in time out when nobody gets to talk to me, or sometimes I even feel like I want to run away from home for a week and see how everyone figures things out without me. It can be a thankless job.

However, children understand what is happening, as I said before, far more often than we give them credit. Just when I feel the least thanked, one of my children will ask me, "Mom, what's wrong?" and I'll say I just don't feel good. He will go to the others and they will all draw me a picture that says they love me, or they will try to fix dinner or make my bed to help me out. Each of the kids has recognized a time when I need a hug or a little extra help. They are the best kids I could have dreamed up.

Is it natural for kids to be so sensitive? Or is it taught? Do we curb their sensitivity by our actions as parents? I would LOVE to take the credit for their goodness, but I think I may be stepping on the Lord's toes. Plus, I'm absolutely not the perfect mom, and I will never claim that lofty title.